So, I hung out with some friends today...went to the local chinese food hot spot, stuffed my face... ventured over to Starbucks for a hot beverage, and then home with the ladies...to enjoy a glass of wine with SR and JS! Halfway through our glass of wine, we got to talking about “dating” and dating your “type” of guy. So I just had to blog about this idea of dating men who are totally different than the guys we have typically been attracted to in the past. (Full disclosure: I'm currently dating my so-called "non-type," and thus have a vested interest in the subject.) SR is recently single... and although won’t admit it, she has a type. JS.. is in a long lasting relationship with someone who is compltly 100% opposite of what she usually goes for.
So many women talk about their "type" and how they wouldn't settle for a guy who didn't have certain criteria or characteristics. However I often hear stories of women who fall in love with men who weren't what they thought they were looking for. Lets call this the "Non-type" .. Women often fall a lot more in love than they realize, so it's no surprise that we may not consider someone at first who later grows on us (I’ll admit it, my boyfriend now.. wasn’t on my radar when we first met due to my preconcieved notions of having a “type”).
Oftentimes, when you break out of your usual “type”, you discover more about yourself. A non-type can bring out parts of your personality that you didn't even know were there. For instance, I am a loud, obnoxious social butterfly but I never wanted to go out with someone just like me, so I tended to go for the shy quiet type. I discovered that I needed someone who was social like me, the life of the party, the one who everyone liked and got along with. I am really happy that I found my “non-type” not only because he's great, but because I likes who I am when I’m around him.
I am not Einstein or anything, or claim to be a love guru but If you keep dating the same type of guy, or repeating a dating pattern that's not working for you, logic would tell you to try something different. It takes a lot of courage, though, to break out of your comfort zone into unknown territory. If your dating pattern is that you're always the one who is more interested in commitment then the person you are dating, you may want to make a point to remind yourself not to settle for that any more and will only date men who know they want to be with you. This may sound like a simple, but we all get used to our roles and patterns. If you go for bad boys... give that cute “mama’s boy” a chance....
Almost every woman has a type of guy she prefers to date, sometimes without even knowing it. Some women like men in suits, some prefer blue-collar guys. Some girls like smooth talking men, and of course, every woman falls at least once for the bad boy (try not to exclusively date this type.) But every now and then it’s good for a girl to “think outside the box,” and try something new. This means turning your attention to a guy who really isn’t your “type”. If you prefer jocks, take a second look at the computer guy in your office. If you like your men really tall, give men who aren’t as towering a chance. The point is to take a chance and have a date or two with someone you normally wouldn’t. Who knows how it might turn out? You never know, the person you thought would never be the one, could in fact be your knight in shining armor in disguise.
I believe that when you have a “type” of guy, you might not realize you’re attracted to what you hope or perceive he is, not who he actually is. This can lead to heartbreak on both of your parts, as you have expectations that he’s not even aware of before you even meet him! Give the guy a break.... if you put him on a pedestal, he is sure to fail. By only dating a certain type of guy you have shut off entire categories of men (divorced, under six feet, unable to play golf, the guy who likes to geek it out to Star Trek or even the Sports Fanatic.)
Dating outside your type can also mean you meet guys who like to do things you never experienced. For example in my case If you usually only date sports fans a new type of guy may introduce you to skydiving, or flying a Cessna 172 for your birthday or some adventure you’ve never even thought of experiencing. Who would have though! Then again if all else fails... When Mr. Right turns out to be the type of guy you’ve been dreaming of since you were ten, it’s all the sweeter for knowing you gave other types of guys a chance. After all, that's only fair.
Chow 4 Now
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